Short and sweet post today, not doing well.
My sister is getting married on Saturday. I want to be the best big sister I can for my gorgeous ‘lil sister, but my anxiety is through the roof.
I am looking for some help here people.
Why is this illness so god damn selfish!!!
I feel totally guilty for not doing everything for her that I envisaged doing, when my little sis got married. But that was before I got ill.
I couldn’t go to her hen night – I had several panic attacks during the day, and as I now don’t drink (I haven’t drunk for years, due to all the meds) I knew I would feel so out-of-place and anxious at a rammed cocktail bar and club. She was a m a z i n g though, and totally understood.
I’m doing the make-up for my mum and my sister. I’m scared to death I won’t do it well, even though this used to be my job!!
I’m also seeing a Psychologist tomorrow morning for an assessment to see if ‘talking therapy’ would be good for me. I then get placed on a long and winding waiting list for it.
As I type this I have a million wedding things I’ve got to remember swirling through my head, things I c a n n o t forget. I think I need to make a list.
Thank you for listening to me vent spleen.
I hope you are all feeling well and strong,