A tough ‘ol slog

The last few days, heck, the last few weeks have been really difficult.

I’m having such ups and downs (no pun intended) about coming to terms with being Bipolar.

I’ve been going through and thinking about my past an awful lot. There does seem to be a pattern to my moods and associated behaviours.

. . . a lot of things Ive done during my teens that I’m thoroughly ashamed of that seem to coincide with a manic phase.

Is it possible I’ve had this illness for a very long time?

I question all my thoughts. . . is it me thinking them or are they being obscured by the illness?
I’m still trying to mesh myself together with being Bipolar, accept it is part of me.

It is hard to do when a couple of people I’m very close to, don’t agree with the diagnosis as they haven’t seen me during certain phases. That’s because I hide away, and I also don’t want to tell them things Ive done during a manic phase.

I hope I don’t get so mad trying to defend myself that I blurt out things from my past.

But on a positive note, the medication seems to be helping me. I’ve just got to keep toughing it out.

I hope you are all well,

Take care,

Karen x

 

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3 thoughts on “A tough ‘ol slog

  1. I understand your embarrassment and shame when it comes to stuff you’ve done when on a manic episode. i try to laugh at myself, but it still hurts!

    as another blogger writes, “one minute at a time!” much love!

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