It’s been such a l o n g time! I’m sorry I’ve been quiet of late. I shall update you!
I’ve had some big changes in my w o r k life and life at h o m e .
So, work first!
After much soul-searching and talks with t h e h u b b y, we’ve decided to drastically reduce my working hours. This decision has not been taken lightly, as financially we cannot afford it. But we decided together that it is more important for me to be a happy mother to t h e b o y, a happy and better wife, and as stable as possible.
So far it’s going really well. I don’t feel as pressured, even though my highs and lows are quite pronounced and difficult to deal with at the moment, I find I can cope better knowing it’s only so many hours before my week is over.
I’ve also been getting fantastic support from two lovely ladies at work. I can ask them if I’m feeling paranoid, I can run my crazy thoughts by them and they will reassure me. I trust them completely and I know they have my best interests at heart.
At home there have been a few changes too. . .
I’ve started a weight loss regime, and so far its going well. That’s helping my self-esteem.
I’ve also now got a support worker whom I see once a week and a CPN who’s keeping an eye on me. They encourage me to leave the house with them and do a bit of g r a d e d e x p o s u r e - go for walks with them, go to shops etc . It is really hard work, but good.
I’ve recently seen my Psychiatrist for a meds review. They have increased my anti-depressant as I was having a lot of lows – I think that’s why I havent been blogging.
But since they have, I’m feeling that t i n g l i n g in my chest, that s t i r r i n g and p o p p i n g of ideas, my heart always r a c i n g , that feeling that those of you with Bipolar disorder will recognise as the beginning of a h i g h . They warned me that was the risk of upping my anti-depressant.
Ho-hum! I’ll keep an eye on things and ask people around me to keep a check.
I hope you are all doing well and feeling strong. Let me know how you all are!